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GM IT pros!

Happy Friday! Here’s this week’s IT roundup.

-Stetson

Tech News TL;DR

This week’s IT and tech news in 5-minutes-ish or less

🔒 CYBER-SECURITY NIGHTMARES

Because sleep is overrated anyway...

💸 UK Co-op Learns $107M Lesson About Ransomware
"Scattered Spider" didn't just bite—it devoured entire profits and left shelves empty. Sometimes the best security investment is the one you make before you need it. Read more

🚨 Cisco Zero-Days: CISA Goes Full Panic Mode
Federal agencies got 24 hours to patch critical firewall vulns. Nothing says "we're screwed" like emergency directives on a Thursday. Read more

🕳️ Supermicro Servers: Now With Built-in Backdoor Features!
New vulnerabilities let attackers create persistent backdoors via firmware updates. It's like leaving your house key under the mat, but for hackers. Read more

🍎 macOS Malware Targets Apple Developers
Microsoft warns of enhanced XCSSET variant with browser targeting and clipboard hijacking. Even Mac users aren't safe from the chaos. Read more

📦 NPM Package Quietly Steals Your Emails
Fake Postmark package added one line of code to exfiltrate all email data. Remember: trust but verify, especially your dependencies. Read more

☁️ CLOUD CHAOS

Where your data goes to party without you

🇮🇱 Microsoft Cuts Azure Services Over Surveillance Concerns
Brad Smith draws the line at mass civilian surveillance. Sometimes even tech giants have boundaries. Read more

🎓 VMware's Price Hikes Create "Learning Barrier" for Schools
Broadcom's pricing strategy forces public schools to flee to alternatives. Nothing says "education first" like pricing out educators. Read more

📊 35% of VMware Workloads Expected to Migrate by 2028
"We are all addicted to hypervisors, and that needs to change." The great VMware exodus continues. Read more

⚓ US Navy Admits: "We Can't Quit Azure"
Even AWS, Google, and Oracle acknowledge they can't support the Navy's current setup. When you're married to Microsoft, divorce gets complicated. Read more

🥊 Google vs Microsoft: Cloud Licensing Fight Continues
Google complains about slow EU regulators while Microsoft keeps profiting. Corporate drama at its finest. Read more

💼 BUSINESS SHENANIGANS

Corporate chaos you need to know about

📦 Amazon Pays $2.5B for Prime "Dark Patterns"
$1.5B in refunds for 35 million affected consumers. Turns out making it hard to cancel subscriptions has consequences. Read more

📱 Trump Signs Executive Order for TikTok Deal
120-day pause on divestiture while the current plan gets executed. The TikTok saga continues. Read more

🔍 SAP Under EU Investigation for Support Services
European Commission probes whether vendor practices stifle competition. Monopolistic behavior? In tech? Shocking. Read more

💰 Oracle Raises $18B for AI Infrastructure Gamble
Big Red's ballooning leverage could strain their balance sheet. Sometimes you gotta spend money to maybe make money. Read more

🍎 Intel Reportedly Courting Apple as Investor
Former partners seeking reconciliation amid financial challenges. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Read more

🤖 AI TAKING OVER

Our future robot overlords are getting smarter

🧪 OpenAI Testing "GPT-Alpha" Based on GPT-5
Internal trials underway for more advanced AI system. Because GPT-4 wasn't scary enough. Read more

📱 ChatGPT Pulse: Morning Updates From Your Chat History
New mobile feature analyzes overnight conversations for personalized briefings. AI that knows you better than you know yourself. Read more

👥 GPT-5 "Matches Humans" in Wide Range of Jobs
AI approaching human-level performance in economically valuable work. Time to update those résumés? Read more

📈 Don't Use ChatGPT for Stock Picking, Experts Warn
AI portfolios carry significant downturn risks despite good performance in growing markets. Financial advice from robots? What could go wrong? Read more

👨‍💻 Developers "Code Like Cavemen" During Anthropic Outage
Major disruption shows growing developer reliance on AI coding tools. Remember when we had to think for ourselves? Read more

🛠️ MISC TECH MADNESS

The weird stuff that doesn't fit anywhere else

🪟 Microsoft Offers Free Windows 10 Updates in Europe
Extended support for EEA users after consumer pressure. Apparently, Europeans get nice things. Read more

🐧 Kali Linux 2025.3 Drops With 10 New Security Tools
Popular pen-testing distro adds Nexmon support and NetHunter improvements. Ethical hacking just got more ethical. Read more

🥧 Ultimate Raspberry Pi: $200 Computer-in-Keyboard
16GB RAM, mechanical keyboard, and built-in SSD. When your keyboard costs more than most people's computers. Read more

🇬🇧 UK Mandates Digital ID for Work by 2029
Starmer government revives controversial scheme despite past denials. Privacy concerns? What privacy concerns? Read more

🤖 AI Chatbots Fail Persian Social Etiquette
Cultural misunderstandings create disaster scenarios in Iran. When "no" means "yes" but AI doesn't get the memo. Read more

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