🎫 Helpdesk Hall of Fame: Funniest Tickets Ever!

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Helpdesk isn’t an easy feat, users can be draining, and your “easy fix” solutions in mind don’t always work out. We get it. But it’s not always bad. We asked the community what their funniest ticket ever recieved was, and it's safe to say that we weren't disappointed with the responses! From beeping laptops that were actually fire alarms, to dead birds and microwaves, here’s the Hall of Fame!

Why These Stories Matter

These tickets are funny, but there's actually fascinating psychology behind how people report technical problems. Some users minimize issues ("it's probably nothing, but..."), others catastrophize ("THE ENTIRE SYSTEM IS DOWN!" when one icon moved). Understanding these mental models helps us respond with empathy rather than frustration.

🔥 Hardware Hijinks

• Lindsey S
  “Lady called in for her laptop making a loud beeping noise, even when it was off. Turned out her fire alarm needed new batteries.”

• William P

  

  “My computer will not turn on, and yes it’s plugged in. It was plugged in… but the power strip was plugged into itself.”

• Reece W
  “Ticket came in at 3pm saying she couldn’t log in since morning. She submitted it from the computer she was logged into. Then asked for a password reset.”

The evolution of ridiculous requests tells the story of technology itself. In the 90s, we dealt with "the cup holder is broken" (CD-ROM drive). Today's tickets reflect our modern world: "My smart fridge won't connect to WiFi" or "My laptop camera has a privacy cover but I can still see myself in Zoom." Each generation brings its own brand of user confusion.

🖥️ The "Help" Category

• Jake Frost
  Ticket: “help.” No other context.

• Ethan Cain
  Lady that never includes details. Ticket body every time: “Help!”

• Bee Wise
  “My keyboard isn’t working.”
  How did you submit the ticket?
  “I used my keyboard.”

Reading Between the Lines

Most "silly" tickets actually stem from users who are intimidated by technology and don't know how to describe problems.

The lady who couldn't log in but submitted the ticket while logged in? She probably had multiple accounts or was genuinely confused about which system was having issues.

Learning to decode confusing tickets separates good helpdesk staff from great ones.

🍲 Food & Facilities Tickets

• Joey M
  “Microwave in breakroom isn’t heating my pasta. I told him to get me the IP so I could remote in. Six hours later he calls back, still can’t find it.”

• Pete L
  “Request to refill the coffee machine with milk.”

• Kevin A
  “The urinal isn’t auto flushing.”

• Chad R
  “There is a dead bird on the sidewalk.”

That user who reported a dead bird to IT wasn't being ridiculous – in their mind, "facilities issues" and "IT issues" both fall under "things that make the office not work properly.

We're everyone's scapegoat, but we're also everyone's go-to problem solver.

🕹️ Software Silliness

• Charles L
  Subject: “gimme dat linux laptop”
  Body: “gimme dem” (all lowercase).

• Scott S
  “User complained of ‘ink’ on her screen. Insisted it wasn’t broken because it worked fine on external displays.”

• Thomas T
  “Asked for a screenshot of the error. User printed the screen, scanned the paper, and uploaded it to the ticket.”

💾 The Legacy Legends

• Ben S
  “Got a call from an almost 100-year-old man:
  ‘I’m running an operating system called Debian LINE-ucks. Nobody supports it. Can you help?’
  That’s how I got my favorite customer.”

• David G
  “Floppy drive eating disks. Found 20+ disks shoved in the space around the drive… inserted by the head of the company.”

The Heroes Among Us

Not every memorable ticket is about confusion – sometimes users surprise us with their ingenuity. We've all had that one user who troubleshoots half the problem themselves, provides detailed error messages, and actually follows instructions the first time. These users remind us why we got into IT in the first place.

🤦‍♂️ Personal Favourites

• Brian Mirsky
  “President of a financial firm asked me to help burn CDs… because his kid left his porn collection on the family computer. We spent an awkward night burning porn CDs together.”

• Neal Gallagher
  “Lady said her PC wouldn’t turn on. I suspected PSU. She said her light wouldn’t turn on either. I told her to call her power company.”

• Jerry Dodge
  “Ran my database scrambling demo tool… on production. Spent the day writing a tool to unscramble.”

Survival Strategies

Veteran helpdesk professionals develop coping mechanisms beyond technical knowledge. The "repeat back" technique clarifies vague requests. The "assume positive intent" mindset prevents burnout. And the "document everything" approach protects everyone while creating these legendary stories we share years later.

🎟️ Honorable Mentions

• “Request to fix a clogged toilet (because networking works on pipes).”

• “Boss turned off power to save electricity. ‘System isn’t working.’”

• “User couldn’t close Excel sheets — they had set a screenshot of Excel as their desktop wallpaper.”

• “Ticket: ‘Call me now.’ Then closed.”

• “User submitted: ‘Pizza.’ Nothing else. Became Priority #1.”

The Ripple Effect

Every positive helpdesk interaction creates ripples throughout an organization.

The user whose "impossible" problem you solved becomes your advocate in budget meetings.

The executive whose laptop you fixed during their big presentation remembers that moment during performance reviews.

We're not just fixing technical problems – we're building relationships that make entire organizations run smoother.

✉️ Got a story to share? Reply to the post in our group, and drop it into the comments. You might just make the next Hall of Fame.

📊 Helpdesk Wisdom: Why We Love These Stories

These tickets are funny, but they’re also a reminder:

• Users will always surprise you.

• Communication is half the job.

• IT is everyone’s scapegoat.

• And sometimes… you just need to laugh about it.

Let me get more specific statistics that would be interesting for your newsletter:Perfect! Based on my search results, here's a great 400-word section you can add. This would work well right before your "📊 Helpdesk Wisdom" section:

📈 By the Numbers: The Wild World of Helpdesk Statistics

Ever wondered just how common these ridiculous tickets really are? The data tells some fascinating stories about our industry that might surprise you.

Since the pandemic began, average ticket volume has increased by 16% – and if you're wondering whether that means more of these legendary stories, the answer is absolutely yes. Internal support systems now handle about 492 tickets on average, with teams successfully resolving 69% of them on the first try (though we suspect that success rate drops significantly when dead birds are involved).

Here's where it gets really interesting: password resets are by far the most common helpdesk ticket, which explains why Reece W's story about the user who submitted a password reset request from the computer she was "locked out of" resonates with so many of us. We've all been there.

Printer issues are also a top complaint for IT help desks, though thankfully most don't involve requests to "get the IP address" of break room microwaves like Joey M experienced. The printer struggles are real – think paper jams, connectivity issues, and the eternal mystery of why they stop working the moment someone important needs to print something.

The numbers also reveal some encouraging trends. About 86% of technical support teams understand that using a help desk system improves their productivity, which means we're getting better at managing the chaos. And businesses using automation resolve customer tickets 52% faster than those that don't – though we're pretty sure no amount of automation can help with requests like "Pizza. Nothing else."

What's particularly telling is how our role has evolved beyond traditional IT. Support tickets now include everything from malfunctioning office hardware to network connectivity issues, but as our honorable mentions prove, users will submit tickets for literally anything that stops working in their environment – including toilets, coffee machines, and yes, dead birds.

The human element remains constant though. Despite all our technological advances, people still need help describing their problems, still panic when things break, and still think IT can fix anything with a power cord. And honestly? That's what makes our job both challenging and wonderfully unpredictable.

These statistics remind us that behind every number is a story – and sometimes that story involves someone trying to plug a power strip into itself or mistaking a fire alarm for a laptop beep. We wouldn't have it any other way.

Closing Thoughts

Every ticket is a story. Some are frustrating, some are heartbreaking, and some are so ridiculous they become folklore. If you’ve ever wondered why IT pros have a dark sense of humor, it’s because we need it to survive.

Until next time: may your users be patient, your tickets concise, and your coffee machine actually functional.

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